Side thought...

This particular post may not belong here; however, I believe it is apt, in light of the subject matter.
It has recently come to my attention that people all over the world have an innate need to analyze their personal characteristics and then offer explanations for those characteristics as seen through the lens of a particular ideology.
For example, personal characteristics may be attributed to biological processes, past trauma, parental upbringing, society's present state, and even astrological movements.
I have to wonder if these explanations for personal characteristics, and therefore behavior, serve as a vehicle on the path to betterment, or if they are simply excuses for bad behavior.
On the same note, I must consider my rationale for attributing my behaviors to gifted characteristics, under the guise of brain function. My hope is that by providing reasoning for certain behaviors, I can analyze those behaviors and their causes, thereby, creating a plan of action for overcoming limitations and utilizing strengths to full potential. Furthermore, understanding these conditions may help us guide our gifted kids in doing the same.
Whatever the motivation, let it never be a stumbling block on the path of towards perfection. Although perfection is an unattainable goal in this life, veering from the path or lack of forward motion results in wasted time and gifts.

The one who makes the most rules, wins!

I love rules! They maintain peace in a world of chaos. They create a standard for living to a greater potential. Without rules, society plummets to a free-for-all environment where people do and say whatever they like without taking heed of social convention, thereby resulting in selfishness, unmet needs, and dissension.

In language, rules ensure words and phrases are understood in order to convey a clear message. If rules are followed in math, the correct answer is inevitable. Just as rules for driving keep people safe and prevent road rage, rules for living create a roadmap where decisions are clear, and negative consequences are rare.

Rules are exceptional for everyday living. For example:

 When eating nachos, you always start from the outside and work your way to the middle. 

When eating pizza, you first bite the corner then eat the crust. Finally, you finish with the middle.

 When eating any sandwich, you start with the corner then eat one half of the crust. You proceed to eat half of the middle then finish the other half of the crust. Finally, you finish in the middle. 

Do you see the pattern? Always save the best for last!

 When these rules are followed, an excellent dining experience in a cellphone-free environment, where everyone is sitting in the appropriate seat and using good manners, is ensured.

 

Tough nut to crack

I'm a tough nut to crack... According to my mother.

I read some where that gifted students deal with emotions differently than others. Some gifted kids feel more deeply, particularly as children. I believe that since their brains are more intellectually developed, their lack of socio-emotional development creates a disequilibrium. This may cause children to overanalyze their emotions and interpret them differently. A seemingly meaningless action becomes overtly meaningful with rumination. Nuances of tone and facial expression become symbols of deep emotion, interpreted for each social interaction. Once again, this phenomenon is not common to all gifted kids, because they are each unique.

Personally, this has been true for me. In fact, the need to analyze every emotion and properly categorize it leads to dwelling on emotion, reiterating the feelings and the situations that caused them. This action leads to depression.
In order to avoid these feelings, I have reverted to avoidance. Avoid situations of discomfort,  thereby avoiding painful emotions to be analyzed that, ultimately, lead to depression, anxiety, and frustration.

You may interpret my actions to be cold, or you may find me insensitive, or you may think I'm haughty. The truth is, you have more power to hurt me than you think. 

I never finish...

I never finish anything.

Well, I wouldn't say "never."

I don't finish most projects. There are so many things in the world to accomplish, and I want to do them all.

At this moment, I have several projects that I would like to undertake. I have two books outlined, seven scrapbook pages lined out, a proofreading business with Fiverr.com, a crochet project, a cross-stitching project, and a website.  I have started each of these projects, but I will probably finish one.

Why? 

 Because as soon as I start one, I have a really great idea that I have to start immediately. 

Someone once recommended that I finish one before starting another. That didn't work. Maybe I need to work on my discipline, or maybe I need to ....

Can you repeat that?

I have read that some gifted kids are ultra-sensitive to sensory stimuli. As my dad used to say, "I am on sensory overload." It seems like almost every sensory input is magnified, and once the circuits are overloaded, additional input is unbearable.

Visual images incite emotional reaction disproportionate to the intended impact. Furthermore, once the visual image has been internalized, it is never forgotten. Visually stimulating images are available for immediate retrieval in the most inopportune moments.
Fluorescent lights and abundance of color are sources of visual complication. Fluorescent lights flicker and buzz, causing distraction and irritation.An overabundance of colorful objects in a confined space can cause confusion, distraction, and frustration. In a sentence, I hate mega-markets.

Incessant noises are magnified, particularly repetitive, unchanging tones. Ironically, gifted students have a tendency to be in constant motion. In the absence of physical movement, gifted students will tap their feet, tap their pencils and click their pens ... annoying themselves ... and everyone around them.

Go ahead. Crunch, slurp, or smack your food while eating. I dare you.

 After years of living "on sensory overload," I decided that the best way to deal with additional input is to just ignore it. You could say that I tune out, blast off, or escape. I literally cannot hear you.
My mind is thinking of other things, and my ears are closed.

Although this has shaved years of frustration from my life, it has caused some problems. Often, my children have had to repeat themselves several times, and my husband is sure that I should know some information that he has told me before. Thankfully, the most important information is subconsciously stored in the upper section of my brain (someday, I will present a diagram of a personal visual representation of my brain function), and I remember things at the last moment.

So, if I ask you to repeat yourself, don't be mad. Be proud that you were able to break through the barriers of my tiny fortress, freeing me from a self-imposed prison of silence to which I will happily return the moment I hear a potato chip bag being opened.  

 

My purpose...

This morning I was considering my purpose for "Confessions of a Gifted Kid"

Do I feel the need to expose my innermost fears and vulnerabilities to the world? - NO

Do I need sympathy and the world to "understand" me? -no

Truthfully, my passion is for kids. Although proponents of gifted education have had to fight to maintain services for many years, the recent movement to eradicate the gifted program and honors classes from public education is alarming. I could expound for hours on the public misperceptions of the qualifications, characteristics, and needs of gifted students; however, I choose to be brief.

Gifted students need:

Socio-emotional support and guidance

Connection with like-minded peers

Acadmic challenge

Career and occupational guidance

Without these necessary provisions, one of our greatest resources may be lost. Gifted students are academics, inventors, creative thinkers and problem solvers. With the coming trials that our nation will face, we need the minds of gifted students. If we continue on the path to destroy the current support system for these students, based on a misguided denotation of equality, we will destroy the foundation of a nation originally built by gifted human beings.

I didn't see you...

Have you ever passed someone that you knew, and they walked by without acknowledging your existence? Did you think they were rude or angry?

That was probably me.

I can promise that it was not on purpose. Honestly, I didn't see you. Consider this... At any given moment, there are seven billion thoughts running through my head (ok, I have a tendency to hyperbolize... and make new words that fit my purpose.)

Join me there for just a moment...

Yesterday, I was walking my dog and considering the history of the chihuahua, because I once read that it was originally a fighting dog, but why would they rely on dogs to fight? Was it a sport? That would be like having chickens fight. I've read about that, as well. That was when I was studying the practice of foot-binding in China. I wonder what that was like. Although it could be considered somewhat like wearing high heels. It's too bad I can't wear high heels. I would love to be taller. Then, I would feel comfortable teaching high school students. High school years were some of the most miserable of my life. I wonder where my friend is living, now. I could get on Facebook and find her, but those pictures with the funny sayings drive me insane. Most of them are not funny...

I'm sure you get the picture.

All of that was a total of 45 seconds, and it was pure rambling. There were no problems to solve or research ideas.

That does remind me. I wanted to look at website designs for my next project, but first I need to further research best technology practices for application learning. I once read an article...

Small talk

My confession: I have a deep fear of small talk.

Quite truthfully, I don't understand it.

If we consider the options, they are so few, none of which lead to a meaningful discussion. For example, talk about the weather is mundane and repititive. We all live here! We watch the same weather forecast! Duh, I know it's hot! Frankly, I annoy myself when I make a comment about the weather...

Even worse is the question,

Hi! How are you?

Really, do you want to know how I am? Do you, honestly, think I would tell you? What would you do if I did? This is a question that I am all too guilty of repeating. Most likely because it is a social convention that so easily rolls off the tongue. But if I ask, am I not committing the same crime? Does that make me fake?

In my own mind, I have justified the question by logically deducting that I am being kind by adhering to social convention, thereby, fulfilling my obligation towards social interaction through which is so difficult to navigate.

However, by far, the worst small talk scenario is the reply to the aforementioned question.

My immediate reply is, "doing good."

Before you say a word, let me remind you that I am a well educated woman who knows the proper usages of the words "well" and "good." In an effort to acclimate to the stylized diction surrounding me, I picked up the phrase. In response, I get odd looks or people correct my grammar. Needless to say, I since extracted this phrase for my small talk bag of tricks, but at times, it will annoyingly fly out of my mouth, leaving me embarrassed and bewildered as to how to carry on from that point. Most likely, I will blush, duck my head, and run.

These are just a couple of the daily interactions that go so terribly wrong. I could expound for hours on the unavoidable trenches and explosive land mines of daily social interaction. Instead, I think I will read through the Wiki article giving step-by-step instructions on how to conduct small talk.

An update... This morning, a passed a friend. She smiled and politely said, "Hi, how are you?"

My response... "Well, it's not as hot today, so I'm doing good."

Diagnosis

I was diagnosed with giftedness when I was in the first grade.

Yes, I said "diagnosed."

Although being gifted could be considered a positive trait, it is also a label immediately identifying a person as different from the general population. Thus began the quest to find commonality with other human beings.

It has been a long quest.

As a child and teenager, I didn't really connect with anyone. I didn't fit in with those students who discussed music, television, or sports. The other gifted kids were discussing quarks and black holes at the lunch table. I was pondering the theological and philosophical questions of the universe, comparing the connotations of synonyms, and reading every book in the library (fiction).

As a late teenager, I donned my Doc Martins, shaved my head, and pretended to be normal. (Ironic?)

Finally, as an adult, I realized that there is only One who knows me. And one day I will fully know as, even now, I am fully known.

I do not pretend that I am like other gifted kids or that all gifted kids are the same. There are general characteristics that most gifted kids share. However, the most important similarity among humans is the fact that we are each unique.

These are my confessions as told by a gifted, introverted, lifelong learner.