Small talk

My confession: I have a deep fear of small talk.

Quite truthfully, I don't understand it.

If we consider the options, they are so few, none of which lead to a meaningful discussion. For example, talk about the weather is mundane and repititive. We all live here! We watch the same weather forecast! Duh, I know it's hot! Frankly, I annoy myself when I make a comment about the weather...

Even worse is the question,

Hi! How are you?

Really, do you want to know how I am? Do you, honestly, think I would tell you? What would you do if I did? This is a question that I am all too guilty of repeating. Most likely because it is a social convention that so easily rolls off the tongue. But if I ask, am I not committing the same crime? Does that make me fake?

In my own mind, I have justified the question by logically deducting that I am being kind by adhering to social convention, thereby, fulfilling my obligation towards social interaction through which is so difficult to navigate.

However, by far, the worst small talk scenario is the reply to the aforementioned question.

My immediate reply is, "doing good."

Before you say a word, let me remind you that I am a well educated woman who knows the proper usages of the words "well" and "good." In an effort to acclimate to the stylized diction surrounding me, I picked up the phrase. In response, I get odd looks or people correct my grammar. Needless to say, I since extracted this phrase for my small talk bag of tricks, but at times, it will annoyingly fly out of my mouth, leaving me embarrassed and bewildered as to how to carry on from that point. Most likely, I will blush, duck my head, and run.

These are just a couple of the daily interactions that go so terribly wrong. I could expound for hours on the unavoidable trenches and explosive land mines of daily social interaction. Instead, I think I will read through the Wiki article giving step-by-step instructions on how to conduct small talk.

An update... This morning, a passed a friend. She smiled and politely said, "Hi, how are you?"

My response... "Well, it's not as hot today, so I'm doing good."